walking through life, the weight of the world upon my back
heading for a light everyone else can see
friends push me, pull me, help me continue on towards it
as I stumble around blindly in this seemingly endless tunnel
the light is there, they know it is, and I just hope that it is
several times I thought I had found the way out
but all it ended in was pain…
a loss of blood, a broken finger, and now all doors are closed, lest I break through the veil of guilt and pain of a broken promise…
now my intense emotions are being held at bay by a drug
suppressing my anger and depression so I may think clearly
how I wish I could again reach that level of abnormal contentment
a point beyond daydreaming, a zoning out into nothingness
total satisfaction in my misery
there are no thoughts plaguing my mind, no emotion controlling my body
no movement, no words, the weight on my shoulders cast away
an indescribable sensation courses through me with every heartbeat,
the only somewhat tangible thing about it all
yet even with that, I feel nothing inside me
except nothingness, and contentment
with it all is a peacefulness, much akin I’m sure to what dying people must feel when they say they’ve made their peace with God.
lying wherever I am, I would stay forever
staring off into a blankness that is so appealing
but this peace could be the deadly song of the Siren
leading me to crack upon the rocks and die
but for now I go on to fight another day, and curse the burden on my back