It was a cool summer night. The stars were out, and the world seemed at peace. I decided to go for a walk, promising that this wouldn’t be like all the other night time walks I took before.

I lived in a small neighborhood. It was nothing more than a big circle. Most of the houses were large, and in the night, somewhat ominous looking. So far so good. I try to slow down so I can enjoy myself.

A car passes me. I smell the exhaust and feel the rush of wind. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one up, which is hard to believe by looking at all the dark houses.

The second street lamp. I pause for a moment here. The next street lamp is farther away because one is burned out. It wouldn’t be as bad if there were houses between here and there, but it was someone’s private property, and I looked worriedly at the woods further down. I decided to walk on.

I kept my eyes on my feet, making sure I put one foot in front of the other. I quickened my pace as I listened to the rustling in the overgrown grass. The grass crackled as something moved around. Snakes have been found in that grass before, and I didn’t want to run into one.

But it wasn’t snakes I was really worried about. The grass was tall enough for a man to hide in if he just crouched down. I could be attacked and never see it coming. The houses were so dark that it seemed screams wouldn’t even be heard.

After what seemed like an hour, I reached the light, and my turn. This was the hardest part, for once I reached the top of the upcoming hill, there were two empty lots, and no street lamps. It was all just woods. Plenty of trees for someone to hide behind. Again, I decided to go on.

Now that I was going uphill, I had to slowly pace considerably. Otherwise, I’d be exhausted when I reached the top, and I was not going to stop for a breath next to those woods.

I walked slowly past the two lots, dreading the woods. I could hear twigs snapping and animals calling to each other, and since it was dark, I’d never see the man with the knife until it was too late…

I broke into a speed walk, almost a trot, cringing at the sound of my shoes as they hit the pavement with a loud, but flat sound. Turning the curve and starting to go downhill, I was thankful for the houses on my left, even though they were dark. Perhaps I could get to one of them before the man got me.

The woods ended. I did not slow down. Now there was a new predator, a man walking behind the houses wanting to choke and rape me, waiting for just the right moment to reach out an grab me. The fear welled up inside of me until I thought my heart might burst. Instead, it started beating faster and pumped it all into my brain, making me panic.

Even the streetlights were of no comfort now, and if I walked any faster, I’d be jogging. Then if the man did come out, I’d be too tired to run. I had to have some energy left.

I sped by the place where I made my turn to go uphill. I walked past the long, dark grass, dreading the hand that would reach out and drag me away into the woods to be mutilated, violated, and killed. I had to get inside my house.

Now I was at my neighbor’s house. I started to run as fast as I could. I could hear the man behind me running, chasing me, reaching out to grab my arm…

I stopped. Now I was standing in front of my house. There was an invisible line that the man wouldn’t cross, and I had reached it first. But the man could still get me once I stepped in my yard. If he couldn’t have me, then he’d just shoot me.

Up the yard I ran, feeling the man’s gun take aim on me. I sensed the red dot as his laser sight set him up for a good shot. My heart was beating in my ears, faster and faster as I felt the stranger put pressure on the trigger…

I ran up the steps and into the house, locking the door behind me. I was safe once again. No longer afraid, I was angry with myself. That walk had been EXACTLY like the last one, and I went to bed disgusted.

2/18/1998